I often joke with friends that I wish Pinterest would have
been around when I was younger that way my mom could have thrown me some
amazing birthday parties. I then go further and say I wish Pinterest would have
been around when I had our first son, things would have been so much different.
I see all the girls now with these elaborate gender reveal pictures. Parents
with birthday parties that are fit for King’s and Queen’s for a one year old. If
I look back at our first son’s birthday he had a homemade cake, dollar tree
decorations and a failed attempt at the “perfect” smash cake picture. He
actually threw it up everywhere. Not exactly the Pinterest picture I was going
for.
I go to it for almost
everything when it comes to parenting from pictures, birthday party ideas,
creative things to do with my positive pregnancy test and matching outfits for
my children. I begin feeling guilt and the thoughts start spiraling out of
control. I go from feeling like I gave my children a really good birthday or
decorated their room with love to wondering if what I do is really good enough.
Somehow thinking they might feel like they were slighted a bit in their
childhood when they grow up and see all the elaborate parties and rooms their
friends had. It’s a silly thought I know but that’s when I realized Pinterest
is making me a bad mom, or at least appear that way to my children and social
media.
The Fail- I came across this webpage filled with
Pinterest inspired ideas gone wrong. It says “Where good intentions come to
die.” There you will find a graveyard of pictures, mostly from moms with decorations,
cakes and picture poses with their children that turned out completely opposite
from the original Pinterest post. Basically, this page is filled with moms that
will feel like they will never meet these imaginary standards. To that mom that
had the Pinterest “fail” when the birthday cake came out looking more like
something the cat threw up, it is not a fail. That cake was made with love and
time, two of the most important things every child needs. I promise you they
won’t look back and think how horrible the cake looked. They will look back and
think about all the effort you put into celebrating a special day with them.
Picture Perfect- I never had professional
maternity pictures taken with any of my pregnancies. They are plastered all
over Pinterest. Mostly with moms that look perfectly put together, not a
stretch mark to be seen, a golden tan, no dark circles under her eyes and the
perfect outfit. I wish I could tell you I had glowing skin when I was pregnant.
I wish I could tell you clothes fit me perfectly and I didn't live in
sweatpants. Plus, let’s be honest, by your third pregnancy you have way better
things to spend your money. That $100 dollars is a ton of diapers and wipes. I
say all this but deep down I wonder if my children will think any less of me
because I didn't have nice pictures taken of them while they were inside my
belly.
Pregnancy Announcement- When I was pregnant with
our first son, long before the days of Pinterest I had a pregnancy
announcement. It was a Facebook status with our ultrasound picture, that’s it.
I didn't pose with my pee stick, we didn't create funny pictures, and we didn't
give everyone a surprise envelope that says “We’re Pregnant!” inside, all while
secretly recording. Then came the
pregnancy with our second child and this feeling of obligation came to keep up
with all the Pinterest moms. I handmade boxes with handmade tags, hand wrote
everything, filled all the boxes with jars of baby food, waited until the
perfect moment, made my husband record and made sure everything was on point.
Yes, it was fun. Can I tell you a secret though? My husband was so busy
recording everything, making sure the light was good enough to see their faces
for reactions. I was running around handing out boxes, making sure everyone
waited to open at the same exact time that we missed the moment. I ended up not
even being in the recording because I was too busy making it Pinterest Perfect.
Gender Reveal- I am pretty sure when my mom was
pregnant with me she said the ultrasounds were so bad they could barely tell
the gender. They would send you home saying we “think” you are having this
gender. Now a days there is more accuracy and we want to surprise everyone
thanks to Pinterest. I fell into this trap, had the ultrasound tech secretly
write the gender on a piece of paper. Took it to the bakery, had the inside of
the cake the color of the gender and watched the cake like a hawk until it was
time for the party. There we were surround by friends and family, I made sure
someone was recording and taking pictures. Some go further from balloons out of
a box to water guns filled with the paint color of the gender. All really cute
and fun ideas but can I tell you this was the wrong idea for me. You see,
Pinterest forgets that gender disappointment is a real thing. I have a picture
with our second son’s gender reveal party. We had no idea it was another boy, I
was sure it was a girl. The look of shock, almost disappointment on my face
when I cut the cake is terrible. I felt such guilt after seeing that picture, I
knew I was thinking in my head “I could have sworn it was going to be a girl
this time.” I don’t ever want my son to look at that picture and see the look
on my face. I was over the moon that he was a boy, I love my guys. It was just
the initial shock. Then there are the faces in the pictures of relatives that
were desperately longing for a girl. From now on I will skip the gender reveal
and stick to announcing before the pictures. You know the ones where you tell
everyone “You better smile like you were for Team Blue all along or else” kind
of pictures.
The Birthday Parties- I always go straight to
Pinterest for birthday party ideas, decorations, cakes and party games. I turn
into this three headed monster weeks even months before the party is scheduled.
I’m over here like “He turned two months yesterday, better start my new Pinterest
board for his first birthday ideas now!” I have to hand make everything from
the decorations to the cake, otherwise it’s not good enough. Those store bought
decorations and that cake from the bakery will not compare to Cindy’s son’s
birthday if I don’t because she never has a Pinterest fail. I sat at my last
son’s birthday almost in tears. My “fire” decorations were falling from the
ceiling, my first attempt at a fire truck cake looked more like a red box on
wheels, my handmade piñata busted open while hanging it and I didn't have time
to set up a photo booth. Not to mention he didn't have fifty or more friends in
attendance only family and I forgot to get matching candles. Do you think he
even noticed? No. I was so worried about the Pinterest Perfect details that I became
consumed by it. I forgot to simply just be there.
Pinterest has this way of making me a bad mom. It makes me
forget to enjoy the moment, it makes me feel as though I don’t match up to
other moms. It makes me feel like I will never be a good enough mom because I
don’t have the perfect maternity pictures, the perfect gender reveal parties,
the perfect birthday parties and the perfect pregnancy announcements. To social
media Pinterest makes me look like a bad mom. It makes my plain Jane cupcakes,
selfie maternity pictures on my phone and crafts that don’t match up appear
less than.
Well, Pinterest you are wrong, you had the “fail” this time.
Today I am taking a stand and no more comparing myself to Pinterest Perfect
moms that don’t really exist. Here’s to us moms with the homemade birthday
cakes that came out burnt. To us moms with the toy rooms that are not perfectly
organized because they are played in. To us moms who have children with rooms
filled with decorations that don’t match. Those rooms are instead filled with
all of our children’s favorite things, they don’t need to match.
I don’t want to be the Pinterest perfect mom, she’s not fun
and probably broke. I want to be the mom that was present.
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