Open Apology To My Friends That Had A Miscarriage Before I Was A Mom

I remember the day I received the phone call and text. You were seven weeks along and you had lost your sweet angel. Sure, I came to visit you in the hospital, called you, texted you and cried with you but I didn’t really get it. I was not yet a mom and had no idea the bond and love for a child from the very minute of conception. I went on about my life, didn’t remember the anniversary of your loss and never realized how difficult Mother’s Day would be for you. I said all the wrong things from “they are back with Jesus” to “thank goodness you were not that far along.” These horrible things were a far cry from what you needed and wanted to hear. I’m sorry. I thought all the wrong things too from “how can she be so upset?” to “she can have more babies.” I never even asked if you gave them a name so we could talk about them regularly and how loved they in fact were. I in fact never brought them up again, in fear I would upset you. That was wrong, because you think of them every single day and remember there is a missing piece to your family. I never imagined the hurt it must bring you seeing my children that would be around his or her age right now, always wondering who they might have been.

The very minute I found out I was going to be a mom and every time after, I think of you friend. I have never told anyone but I cry for you often. You have more children now, but none can even replace the sweet angel that is not here. I know I didn't do everything right then but I want you to know that I am trying to make up for it now. I do things differently when I have a friend with the loss of an angel baby. I do this because of you and your angel baby. The special baby is making a difference in this world and in the hearts of others just like mine even though they were only here for seven short weeks.  I also want you to know that I get it now, it get it. I will never fully get it because I have never had a loss but now being a mom, I understand. The bond with your child is instant, even if you never get to meet them.

I am so sorry for not being the kind of friend you needed during such a painful time. I am sorry for not recognizing your loss, just because we were never able to meet him or her doesn't mean they didn't’ exist. If I could do it over, if I could have been there for you after I was already a mom I would have done things differently. I would talk to you more about the baby, ask the name, ask to see ultrasound pictures, send you a card and call you on the anniversary, call you on the birthday the angel baby would have had, remind you on Mother’s Day that you are still a mom even though they are not here with you. I would cry with you, bring you meals, think of you often and let you know and I would send you gifts that help you always remember that someone else things of your angel baby just as often as you do. I would walk with you in the valley and help you carry that burden for as long as needed.

You see, I can now be this kind of friend to mommy friends that have suffered a loss because of your angel baby. In seven weeks, without ever even meeting them, they chang

The Five Types Of Children You Meet In the Grocery Store

It’s that moment you go into the grocery alone. You are on a mini vacation while the husband is at home with the children. You plan on leisurely strolling down every aisle, picking up every single item and pretend to read the ingredients just to waste extra time. You taste test the free samples and even go back for seconds. Then suddenly, out of nowhere you hear it. It stops you dead in your tracks and you panic for a moment wondering if that was your child you just heard screaming down an aisle. Nope, not yours, not this time anyways. While on your mini vacation at the grocery store you might run into these five children while you are trying to relax, beware they might make your mini vacation feel more like a stressful day trip.

1.)    The Screamer- You can’t see her yet, but you can hear her clear across the store. She didn’t want to be put into the cart, she wanted to walk and help push the cart into things on the shelf, things in the aisle and random strangers. Her mom wouldn’t let her eat the donuts as they were walking around the store or she wanted to buckle herself in all by herself. The screamer is relentless and will not stop until mom eventually abandons the grocery cart and exits the store quickly.

2.)    The Shelf Grabber- You’ve seen this one, the poor mom pulls a little too close to the shelf, usually the shelf filled with breakable items and before she knows it, she just went from purchasing one jar of baby dill pickles to five. They also just set the entire store into complete panic from the very loud noise of all the glass breaking. You can also point out former shelf grabbers, the mom usually steers the cart directly down the middle of the aisle and doesn’t get close to the shelf after an incident has occurred. Shelf grabbers usually have good reach though and can manage to figure out a way to still knock an item off the store display in the aisle if they can’t reach initial target on shelf.

3.)    The Eater- This child is basically having dinner in the cart while mom shops. They have opened almost everything in the cart, usually just the snacks and they are chowing down. By the time mom gets to the checkout line, she is filling the conveyor belt with empty items.

4.)    The Runner- There she goes! Mom put her down for two seconds because she wanted to “walk like a big girl.” What she really meant is “Put me down so I can bolt down these aisles while you try and catch me.” There goes mom, chasing after her all while calling her name and begging her to stop. She laughs and smiles at every person she passes, deep down she is in pure panic mode and worrying about where she left her cart. Once the runner is caught, mom makes sure she buckles her in. The runner that has been caught, usually turns into the screamer.

5.)    The Aisle Blocker- “Excuse me sweetie. Excuse me. Can I just get past you really quick?” No response. Mom is further down the aisle shopping and the aisle blocker is right in the middle and refuses to let you pass. You swerve to the left with your cart, they dart in front of you. You stand there waiting for mom to notice she has an aisle blocker, doesn’t happen, she’s in the zone. There is no resolution with the aisle blocker, even getting close to them with your cart results in nothing. You are going to have to take a long detour, go around to the next aisle and back up the aisle to go around the aisle blocker.