Dear Single Mom

Dear Single Mom,

We've never met and I am not a single mom. You might be wondering why I am writing you. It is because I am the daughter of a single mother. I wanted to take a minute to encourage you and hopefully give you a perspective from your child’s point of view on being raised by a single mom.

You may be wondering if you will ever be good enough. If you will ever be able to fill the void and be the mother and father to your child. You worry that your child may grow up resentful or feeling less than others because they only have a mother.

I know you have concerns about having to work so much to make ends meet. You come home from working a full time job, only to leave later to the part time evening job so you can pay the bills. As you send your child to another family member or sitter for one more day. You cry because you spend more time at work than with your child. You wonder if your child will look back and see a life filled with no father and an absent mother.

You stay up late at night, working on another paper. You are determined to get a better education so that you can only work one job and spend more time with your child. You begin to wonder if the late nights will be worth it. You wake up exhausted and do it all over again.

As a daughter raised by a single mother, raised without a father in my life. My mother worked two jobs, attended college full time and struggled to make ends meet. During her college years, we lived with my grandmother. While she worked and attended school I was with a sitter or a family member if possible straight from school.

I am who I am today because I was raised by a single mother. Watching her work both jobs tirelessly to pay the bills and to help fun my extracurricular activities at school taught me dedication. It showed me that mother’s but especially single mothers have a drive and are capable of anything they set their minds to. I knew growing up I wanted to be just like me mom, fearless. I never felt shuffled from sitter to sitter. I have wonderful relationships even now as an adult with both of my baby sitters. They are amazing women and help mentor me.

I never missed not having a father in my life. My mom attended all school functions and big events in my life. I had family members that lovingly stepped in and filled a void. Uncles that became my hero’s and a grandfather that became like a father.

Single mom, you are amazing. You are so much stronger than you can ever imagine. You may think you are not doing a good enough job. That you work too much, that you spend too much time with school work that you want to just give up. The little person that is watching you sees something you might be missing. They see that you are there, not giving up on them and willing to do whatever it takes to help them thrive. Single mom you are more than enough. Hold your head up and know that you are doing something that not most could do.

Sincerely,

The Daughter of a Single Mom