The Five Types Of Children You Meet In the Grocery Store

It’s that moment you go into the grocery alone. You are on a mini vacation while the husband is at home with the children. You plan on leisurely strolling down every aisle, picking up every single item and pretend to read the ingredients just to waste extra time. You taste test the free samples and even go back for seconds. Then suddenly, out of nowhere you hear it. It stops you dead in your tracks and you panic for a moment wondering if that was your child you just heard screaming down an aisle. Nope, not yours, not this time anyways. While on your mini vacation at the grocery store you might run into these five children while you are trying to relax, beware they might make your mini vacation feel more like a stressful day trip.

1.)    The Screamer- You can’t see her yet, but you can hear her clear across the store. She didn’t want to be put into the cart, she wanted to walk and help push the cart into things on the shelf, things in the aisle and random strangers. Her mom wouldn’t let her eat the donuts as they were walking around the store or she wanted to buckle herself in all by herself. The screamer is relentless and will not stop until mom eventually abandons the grocery cart and exits the store quickly.

2.)    The Shelf Grabber- You’ve seen this one, the poor mom pulls a little too close to the shelf, usually the shelf filled with breakable items and before she knows it, she just went from purchasing one jar of baby dill pickles to five. They also just set the entire store into complete panic from the very loud noise of all the glass breaking. You can also point out former shelf grabbers, the mom usually steers the cart directly down the middle of the aisle and doesn’t get close to the shelf after an incident has occurred. Shelf grabbers usually have good reach though and can manage to figure out a way to still knock an item off the store display in the aisle if they can’t reach initial target on shelf.

3.)    The Eater- This child is basically having dinner in the cart while mom shops. They have opened almost everything in the cart, usually just the snacks and they are chowing down. By the time mom gets to the checkout line, she is filling the conveyor belt with empty items.

4.)    The Runner- There she goes! Mom put her down for two seconds because she wanted to “walk like a big girl.” What she really meant is “Put me down so I can bolt down these aisles while you try and catch me.” There goes mom, chasing after her all while calling her name and begging her to stop. She laughs and smiles at every person she passes, deep down she is in pure panic mode and worrying about where she left her cart. Once the runner is caught, mom makes sure she buckles her in. The runner that has been caught, usually turns into the screamer.

5.)    The Aisle Blocker- “Excuse me sweetie. Excuse me. Can I just get past you really quick?” No response. Mom is further down the aisle shopping and the aisle blocker is right in the middle and refuses to let you pass. You swerve to the left with your cart, they dart in front of you. You stand there waiting for mom to notice she has an aisle blocker, doesn’t happen, she’s in the zone. There is no resolution with the aisle blocker, even getting close to them with your cart results in nothing. You are going to have to take a long detour, go around to the next aisle and back up the aisle to go around the aisle blocker.

6 Things All Moms Have Googled

I can bet that if we all compared our search history on Google, they would be very similar. It is the questions you don’t want to call your pediatrician about or you have already called him twenty times and you just need to make sure he is right. Then there are the times you want to search for a rash so when you go to the pediatrician you can advise them as to what it is and what cream they need to prescribe. Its okay, you can admit that you have searched the six things below, we won’t judge you because we have all done it too.  

"Is this poop color normal??”- As a first time mom especially, the color of poop can become a bit worrisome. You analyze every single thing about it and can’t dare ask a friend or your mother because you clearly do not want them to think you are overreacting over poop. Even though deep down you are panicked.

"Web MD”-I bet you just laughed out loud when you read that. This honestly should be banned from all mom’s computers. Things can get escalated pretty quickly on that website, your child just went from having a rash caused by allergic reaction to scarlet fever.

"What is this rash??”-Babies and kids get rashes, especially babies from head to toe. No rash is exactly the same and most of the time it’s nothing. However, you just found pictures of rashes on Google and none of them look exactly like your child’s. You suddenly panic thinking your child has a new strain of rash that has not been diagnosed ever!

"MAJOR projectile vomiting”-I remember being a first time mom and my son did the whole exorcist projectile spit up. I searched it on the internet and then frantically called our pediatrician at two am on a Sunday morning. He was pretty sure from my voice message it was a crisis. He calmed my fears and now on baby number three, projectile spit up does not make me flinch.

"How does this outfit snap??”- We've all been there, middle of the night, half asleep, changing them into a new outfit. Suddenly, you can’t be sure if it’s the sleep deprivation or if this outfit has a malfunction. You think “Am I missing something?” You are going to need to check this out online. Surely, other parents are having problems with this outfit snapping, it can’t just be you.

“Is that noise he is making normal??”- From the way they cry, the sounds they make when they sleep and even the noises they make when they laugh. New moms and veteran moms alike sometimes have a hard time deciphering if a noise is normal or not. I can assure you though chances are if you go to Web MD with this, your child will have whooping cough by the end of the search.

Dear Single Mom

Dear Single Mom,

We've never met and I am not a single mom. You might be wondering why I am writing you. It is because I am the daughter of a single mother. I wanted to take a minute to encourage you and hopefully give you a perspective from your child’s point of view on being raised by a single mom.

You may be wondering if you will ever be good enough. If you will ever be able to fill the void and be the mother and father to your child. You worry that your child may grow up resentful or feeling less than others because they only have a mother.

I know you have concerns about having to work so much to make ends meet. You come home from working a full time job, only to leave later to the part time evening job so you can pay the bills. As you send your child to another family member or sitter for one more day. You cry because you spend more time at work than with your child. You wonder if your child will look back and see a life filled with no father and an absent mother.

You stay up late at night, working on another paper. You are determined to get a better education so that you can only work one job and spend more time with your child. You begin to wonder if the late nights will be worth it. You wake up exhausted and do it all over again.

As a daughter raised by a single mother, raised without a father in my life. My mother worked two jobs, attended college full time and struggled to make ends meet. During her college years, we lived with my grandmother. While she worked and attended school I was with a sitter or a family member if possible straight from school.

I am who I am today because I was raised by a single mother. Watching her work both jobs tirelessly to pay the bills and to help fun my extracurricular activities at school taught me dedication. It showed me that mother’s but especially single mothers have a drive and are capable of anything they set their minds to. I knew growing up I wanted to be just like me mom, fearless. I never felt shuffled from sitter to sitter. I have wonderful relationships even now as an adult with both of my baby sitters. They are amazing women and help mentor me.

I never missed not having a father in my life. My mom attended all school functions and big events in my life. I had family members that lovingly stepped in and filled a void. Uncles that became my hero’s and a grandfather that became like a father.

Single mom, you are amazing. You are so much stronger than you can ever imagine. You may think you are not doing a good enough job. That you work too much, that you spend too much time with school work that you want to just give up. The little person that is watching you sees something you might be missing. They see that you are there, not giving up on them and willing to do whatever it takes to help them thrive. Single mom you are more than enough. Hold your head up and know that you are doing something that not most could do.

Sincerely,

The Daughter of a Single Mom