The Five Types Of Children You Meet In the Grocery Store

It’s that moment you go into the grocery alone. You are on a mini vacation while the husband is at home with the children. You plan on leisurely strolling down every aisle, picking up every single item and pretend to read the ingredients just to waste extra time. You taste test the free samples and even go back for seconds. Then suddenly, out of nowhere you hear it. It stops you dead in your tracks and you panic for a moment wondering if that was your child you just heard screaming down an aisle. Nope, not yours, not this time anyways. While on your mini vacation at the grocery store you might run into these five children while you are trying to relax, beware they might make your mini vacation feel more like a stressful day trip.

1.)    The Screamer- You can’t see her yet, but you can hear her clear across the store. She didn’t want to be put into the cart, she wanted to walk and help push the cart into things on the shelf, things in the aisle and random strangers. Her mom wouldn’t let her eat the donuts as they were walking around the store or she wanted to buckle herself in all by herself. The screamer is relentless and will not stop until mom eventually abandons the grocery cart and exits the store quickly.

2.)    The Shelf Grabber- You’ve seen this one, the poor mom pulls a little too close to the shelf, usually the shelf filled with breakable items and before she knows it, she just went from purchasing one jar of baby dill pickles to five. They also just set the entire store into complete panic from the very loud noise of all the glass breaking. You can also point out former shelf grabbers, the mom usually steers the cart directly down the middle of the aisle and doesn’t get close to the shelf after an incident has occurred. Shelf grabbers usually have good reach though and can manage to figure out a way to still knock an item off the store display in the aisle if they can’t reach initial target on shelf.

3.)    The Eater- This child is basically having dinner in the cart while mom shops. They have opened almost everything in the cart, usually just the snacks and they are chowing down. By the time mom gets to the checkout line, she is filling the conveyor belt with empty items.

4.)    The Runner- There she goes! Mom put her down for two seconds because she wanted to “walk like a big girl.” What she really meant is “Put me down so I can bolt down these aisles while you try and catch me.” There goes mom, chasing after her all while calling her name and begging her to stop. She laughs and smiles at every person she passes, deep down she is in pure panic mode and worrying about where she left her cart. Once the runner is caught, mom makes sure she buckles her in. The runner that has been caught, usually turns into the screamer.

5.)    The Aisle Blocker- “Excuse me sweetie. Excuse me. Can I just get past you really quick?” No response. Mom is further down the aisle shopping and the aisle blocker is right in the middle and refuses to let you pass. You swerve to the left with your cart, they dart in front of you. You stand there waiting for mom to notice she has an aisle blocker, doesn’t happen, she’s in the zone. There is no resolution with the aisle blocker, even getting close to them with your cart results in nothing. You are going to have to take a long detour, go around to the next aisle and back up the aisle to go around the aisle blocker.

A Glimpse Into My Thoughts After Having Baby

Let’s be honest, having a baby is very overwhelming, especially your first. You are consumed with emotions, hormones and fears. You go from worrying about your sweet baby inside your stomach to worrying about them the minute they are delivered. Some of my thoughts after giving birth stay the same and others I am not prepared for. I don’t know if you can relate but here is a glimpse inside my first few thoughts after having my first child. Things escalated rather quickly as you are about to read…..

“I don’t hear his cry”

“Wait there it is, he’s ok, and sounds like his lungs are good.”

“Fingers and toes, does he have ten fingers and ten toes. Count them now!”

“Ok, they are all there.”

“Did I have a bowel movement while delivering and nobody told me? Oh my God, please no.”

“Who cares, so what if I did, they have probably seen it before.”

“Can I have him in my arms yet??”

“Look how perfect he is!! I dare someone to say he has a cone head!”

“Let me just take a peek at all that hair under his cap.”

“No hair, it’s ok, he won’t be bald forever right??”

“Wait, why does my stomach still look pregnant, they got everything out right??”

“Maybe they left something in there!”

“I can’t keep my eyes open.”

“No really, they weight one hundred pounds right now.”

“Just a little doze…oh my god how long was I out? Where am I?”

“So, what do we do now that he’s here?”

“Maybe he will sleep all through the night, he seems to be a really good sleeper right now.”

“I think I will get up and put my regular clothes on now.”

“Oh dear, why won’t my jeans fit past my big toe?”

“Please don’t tell me I still have to wear maternity clothes??”

“Wait, I don’t remember wearing underwear with holes all in them?”

“Did I just pee myself when I got up?”

“What is going on with my body??”

Newborn Lockdown

This is what I have been on for the past seven weeks.  It's that time that your pediatrician puts the fear of God in you about leaving the house for any length of time because anywhere you go is a germ infested nightmare.  Just when you get the courage to venture (sneak) out on your own, you can hear the voice of the pediatrician and you know at the next visit they will question you about it.  They will stare you in the eyes and say “Did you leave the house at any point?” It’s not that you doubt your pediatrician, you just want to double check their advice. What do you do? 

The only logical thing of course, you Google it, find out if anyone else has left the house with a newborn and went into public early on.  You will get fifty-eight million different answers from mom's on the Baby Center, most of which will ask you "what kind of mom thinks about taking their newborn out that early?!" Since I have not been able to leave the house much, it has given me plenty of time to learn about my new guy. I would like to share with you what newborn lock down looks like for us and for those of you that will soon be experiencing this.

1.) He is constantly plotting

All that projectile vomit it not an accident.  He plans to avoid the burp cloth and aim straight for my hair, face, the seventh outfit I have just changed him into or down my shirt.  Even though he can't laugh just yet, I am pretty sure he is laughing on the inside as I panic to find anything in sight that will clean up the vomit while trying to stop it from going anywhere else.  He possibly has his father's sense of humor.

2.) He’s secretly an owl.

He sleeps the entire day away, come 11pm to 3am he is wide away and extremely happy about it. 

3.) He’s a little Houdini

The entire time we were at the hospital this guy wiggled his way out of even the most experienced nurses' swaddle.  You put a blanket on him, he will be sleeping and still kicking his way out of it.  Its pure talent really, I see it as a possible milestone.

4.) He is an over-achiever

At seven weeks this guy holds his head up for a long time and drinks six ounces like it's nothing.  Between the Houdini act and this, I'm pretty sure it should be documented and noted on admission applications to college.

5.) He has a mission

His mission is to help me lose weight.  I know this because every time I go to sit down after heating up a meal, he starts to cry.  It wouldn't be so bad if the food wasn't sitting right in front of me and I could smell it the entire time I am feeding him.  

All jokes aside, I am so blessed to be home and learning all these amazing and funny things about my two guys.  I find that my days are so much more fulfilling and entertaining with a newborn and two cheerio smashing, Mickey Mouse obsessed, on nap strike toddlers running around. 

Dear Single Mom

Dear Single Mom,

We've never met and I am not a single mom. You might be wondering why I am writing you. It is because I am the daughter of a single mother. I wanted to take a minute to encourage you and hopefully give you a perspective from your child’s point of view on being raised by a single mom.

You may be wondering if you will ever be good enough. If you will ever be able to fill the void and be the mother and father to your child. You worry that your child may grow up resentful or feeling less than others because they only have a mother.

I know you have concerns about having to work so much to make ends meet. You come home from working a full time job, only to leave later to the part time evening job so you can pay the bills. As you send your child to another family member or sitter for one more day. You cry because you spend more time at work than with your child. You wonder if your child will look back and see a life filled with no father and an absent mother.

You stay up late at night, working on another paper. You are determined to get a better education so that you can only work one job and spend more time with your child. You begin to wonder if the late nights will be worth it. You wake up exhausted and do it all over again.

As a daughter raised by a single mother, raised without a father in my life. My mother worked two jobs, attended college full time and struggled to make ends meet. During her college years, we lived with my grandmother. While she worked and attended school I was with a sitter or a family member if possible straight from school.

I am who I am today because I was raised by a single mother. Watching her work both jobs tirelessly to pay the bills and to help fun my extracurricular activities at school taught me dedication. It showed me that mother’s but especially single mothers have a drive and are capable of anything they set their minds to. I knew growing up I wanted to be just like me mom, fearless. I never felt shuffled from sitter to sitter. I have wonderful relationships even now as an adult with both of my baby sitters. They are amazing women and help mentor me.

I never missed not having a father in my life. My mom attended all school functions and big events in my life. I had family members that lovingly stepped in and filled a void. Uncles that became my hero’s and a grandfather that became like a father.

Single mom, you are amazing. You are so much stronger than you can ever imagine. You may think you are not doing a good enough job. That you work too much, that you spend too much time with school work that you want to just give up. The little person that is watching you sees something you might be missing. They see that you are there, not giving up on them and willing to do whatever it takes to help them thrive. Single mom you are more than enough. Hold your head up and know that you are doing something that not most could do.

Sincerely,

The Daughter of a Single Mom

No Use Crying Over Spilled Goldfish

Today I was going about the hustle and bustle of my daily life. One child was crying, one wanted something to drink and the other wanted a snack. In the middle of all this chaos there was someone with an explosive diaper. As the wife of a firefighter, I know they have to prioritize and assess the scene, they go to the person that has the serious injuries first. As a mom, I do the same thing. In this case, the explosive diaper needed to be dealt with immediately.

Just when I thought I had this crisis under control and was ready to move on to the snack and drink issue, that’s when it happened. I hear a tiny voice say “uh-oh” from around the corner in the kitchen. Before I can even get up off the floor I hear laughing. Not just any laugh but a mischievous laugh from my two year old.  I race around the corner (literally two steps) to find an entire container of goldfish on my kitchen floor. They appear to have been stomped on to the point that they are no longer recognizable. Let me be clear before I move on, I do mean goldfish the snack not actual goldfish.

I was so upset at the mess I had them both help me clean it up. I huffed and puffed the whole time I cleaned. Why couldn't they have waited just one more minute? Why did they do this? This is a terrible day!

That’s when I stopped myself.

You see, this whole incident was really my fault. The boys would not have been able to knock the goldfish off the counter and stomp them into a complete oblivion had I not been the one to set them, unopened on the edge of the counter. I was upset with them for something that I had caused in reality. I apologized to the boys, explained to them that yes they had made a choice to make a mess. However, I left the temptation there to begin with.

Have you became upset over something your child did and now looking back maybe it wasn't really their fault? Maybe if you look inside your heart, it was really your fault. There is no time like the present to apologize if you have. Once you apologize mamma, give yourself a little mercy we all make mistakes in this journey of motherhood. 

5 Things Only Moms Of Boys Know

There is a secret club that is only for moms of boys. In this club there are unwritten rules that are never spoken, just understood. It’s nothing that we sit around and discuss; it’s just things that we automatically assume another mom of boys will know. We know that when it’s brought up, another mom of boys will not only understand, but they will also laugh and say, “Been there!” My mom always said, “There is a special place in Heaven for moms of boys. There is a crown of jewels, however, for those with only boys.” Sure, moms of girls have their own set of things they understand, but I can assure you it doesn’t include fun stuff like being an expert at deciphering dinosaur noises. I am going to share with you a list of five things only moms of boys know.

1. We can identify trucks and tractors

Digger, dump truck and garbage truck to name a few. Not only can you identify them, you can hear them coming down the road and know which one it is by the sound. You can spot them on the side of the road and say them by name. You might even do this while driving without your children in car. This might scare your friends who are not mommies. They might not understand the importance of knowing this information. You find yourself running to the door when you see a truck coming and yelling, “The garbage truck is here, guys!” or “Here comes a fire truck!” To be completely honest, you can probably identify the tractor and truck toys blindfolded.

2. We know Thomas and all his friends

To moms without boys, Thomas and his friends might all appear to be the same. To those moms, a crane is just a crane. Moms with boys know that even the crane has a name. We can also sing you theme song at the drop of a hat and mimic each voice, as we play with the train set.

3. We know our dinosaurs

We have the tyrannosaurus rex “rrrrrooooaaarrr” perfected. We can tell you what they liked to eat, where they lived, how they died and anything else you want to know. We are basically geologists without a degree.

4. We know that boys will pee anywhere

This one is a curse and a blessing. All moms of boys have been there, that moment when you hear, “I have to pee NOW; I can’t hold it.” This usually happens right after you have packed up all the groceries and other children into the vehicle. Unbuckling everyone and going back into the grocery store is not worth it. You scope out the parking lot, make sure nobody is in the car next to you and you secretly hover over and hide them, as they pee right there. It’s a curse when you are at a child’s birthday party, and you suddenly realize your little boy is in the corner of the yard peeing.

5. We know they love their moms

Yes, boys love their dad. If you ask mine what they want to be when they grow up, they will quickly say, “A firefighter just like daddy.” When daddy gets home, they run to the door and jump up and down with excitement. Then there are the moments that are filled with endless hugs, kisses and snuggles only for mommy. They tell you that you are “so pretty” or “you are the best mommy in the whole wide world!” They don’t just say it; they mean it. They hold your hand for no reason and promise to always be your baby.

Moms of boys will tell you raising little men is full of daily challenges. Boys are non-stop, full of energy, always getting into something they should not and never listen. They pee on everything, think gross things are funny and always seem to push the limits. One minute they can give you complete anxiety by saying, “Look what I can do mom!” or “Watch this!” and the next they are filling your heart so full of joy and love you feel like it might explode. To the fellow moms of boys, I know it’s not easy but together we can do this!

Lesson From A Helicopter Mom

I have a confession, I am helicopter mom and I am fine with that. I hover, don’t allow my children further than arms reach, do a “check in” every five minutes and a head count, make them hold hands at all times and constantly inspect everything at the playground before they get on it. I watch what they are eating, making sure to remind them to “chew it up good” and don’t allow them to stay with anyone other than grandparents.

Today while at the local fair our four year old wanted to get a child’s rollercoaster all by himself. Let’s pause for a moment so I can quickly take you inside the head of a helicopter mom from the moment my son said “all by myself.”

“What if he gets scared and I can’t get to him??”

“What if they don’t buckle him in properly??”

“What if the ride breaks??”

“Will he remember to hold on tight the whole ride??”

“What if his brother wants to ride next??

“Will he notice if I sneak into the last seat on the ride??”

From the excitement on his face I knew this was one of those moments this helicopter mom needed to take a step back. I was having a major panic attack inside. I put on my biggest smile, waved every time he passed by me on the ride and closed my eyes and silently prayed before he would come back around again.

It was then I realized something. I realized this small roller coaster ride at the county fair is nothing in the big scheme of things. Being a mother is not for the faint of heart, especially a helicopter mother. One day he will want to move away to college without me, he will get married and move away and will not want his mother there. When that time comes this helicopter mom will do just as she did today at the county fair while he was on the ride “all by himself.” I will put on my biggest smile, wave the biggest wave every times he’s looking and I will close my eyes and pray silently every single day when he’s not around. 

4 Types Of Children You Meet At The Park

The dreaded park. It’s filled with littles who don’t wash hands, unsupervised children wandering into moving swings and bullies. I see you over there on the phone, mom. You just missed it, but your child just shoved a handful of dirt in his mouth. No need for lunch now. Group of moms over there socializing, yup, one of your children just jumped off the very top of that slide. I see a trip to the ER coming soon. See that child over there; she just threw sand in her own face. Note to self: avoid the sandbox. Now we are just waiting for her mom to run over there. Oh wait, where is her mom? Who does this child belong to? Oh my goodness, did her mom just leave her here? Probably not, but that’s the thought process I go through very quickly while at the park. If you are a regular park mom, you become very familiar with the types of children you will see at the park on any given day. Here are four types you have probably already seen.

1. The Wanderer

You can’t really be sure which mom this child belongs to. He or she has been wandering from mom to mom since you arrived. He or she will come up to you and might even sit beside you and give you a big hug. You awkwardly hug back while scoping out the scene to see if a mom is coming your way for this child. Nope, not a mom in sight. This child will also want the snacks you have for your own child. Once he or she is full or had enough hugs, off the child goes, onto the next mom.

2. The Sand- and Dirt-Eater

From a distance, this child appears to be simply “playing” in the dirt or sand. Once you approach you will see the sand and dirt is clearly all over his or her mouth and face. Basically, the child is covered in it and is shoving it in his or her mouth with both hands. You slowly usher your own child away because the sand- and dirt-eater likes to teach others how enjoyable it is to do the same.

3. The Swing Hogger

Seriously, you’ve patiently been waiting. All your sweet child wants to do is get on the swing. Honestly, your child will be over it in about five minutes and want down. However, there is a child that is on the swing who apparently never wants to get down. The swing hog is usually talking loudly and screaming, “This swing is so much fun! Best swing ever!” He or she usually gets off the swing just as you are ready to leave.

4. The Terrified Slider

There she goes; mommy is ushering her up the stairs to the slide. “Go on, honey, don’t be scared.” You hold your child back because you know this little sweetie is about to start putting it in reverse to go back down the stairs. If anyone is behind her, it will cause a state of pure panic, and a meltdown will ensue. She makes it to the top, but you know what is going to happen next. Now she is too high up, too scared to go back down the stairs and too scared to go down the slide. Now nobody is going down the slide. You begin to help her mom encourage her down. “Noooooo! I’m not coming down!” This usually lasts about five minutes. Finally mom is defeated and begins to go up the stairs. This is usually the point where the child goes down the slide.

I honestly love watching children play at the park, running around with all their different little personalities. It’s so funny. I have to admit that my own children fall into some of these categories. Even so, a park is a place to let loose and have fun. It’s also the best place to go and gear up for naptime! Have you encountered any of these types of children at the park? Maybe you could even add some to the list?

What This Mom Really Wants For Valentine's Day

I recall when my husband and I first started dating (or courting as my Papaw referred to it). Valentine’s Day was such a big deal. He would go above and beyond for that special day. I recall one year was a scavenger hunt in the parking lot of my job. Then there was the phone call he made to my best friend to find out a few of my favorite things early on in our relationship. My favorite year was the time he ordered me a “Valentine Teddy Bear” online. I lived with my grandfather at that time, and it was delivered with roses. Apparently, my (now) husband didn't read the description too well because the “Valentine Teddy Bear” arrived in silk boxers with hearts all over them and the words “kiss me.” My face is red as I type this and tell you that my grandfather answered the door for that delivery. I still have that bear.

Fast forward nine years, three children under five, everyday chaos of normal life, and Valentine’s Day is the last thing on our minds. I no longer expect fancy gifts, expensive dinners, or a grand surprise. I know for a fact he would still do those things if I wanted, but let’s just say my idea of the perfect Valentine’s Day has changed a little. If he were to ask me what this momma really wants for Valentine’s Day this year, I happen to have made a list. Here are the five things this momma really wants for Valentine’s Day.

A Shower

A nice, long shower with the ability to close and lock the door so I don’t have any little visitors. I would like to stay in there so long that I actually get to remember what it feels like to have my hands and fingers resemble shriveled up prunes. I don’t want to ask for too much, but if I get to stay in there long enough to shampoo AND condition my hair, that would be a plus. Even better, I actually get to shave more than just half of my leg

To Sleep In

I can’t recall it too well anymore, but I know for a fact I did sleep in until one in the afternoon before kids. These days I can tell you what every single sunrise looks like. The days of waking up and feeling fully refreshed from a good sleep are way over. I know how to function on less than 2 hours of sleep, and can cover up dark circles under my eyes like a pro. I can promise you, if you allow me to sleep in until eight in the morning, there is the potential for me to go from mom to supermom. In order for this transformation to take place, it must be completely silent and last until 10 am.

Macaroni Art

I love it when my husband takes the kids to buy me something special like a box of chocolates, balloons, or flowers. That’s not what I really want though, I want the macaroni art. I want the macaroni necklaces, with the colored macaroni of course. I want it to be shaped in a heart by tiny hands filled with love. Store-bought items are nice, but holidays are more special with handmade gifts. After all, isn't that what Valentine’s Day is all about: love? All the love and effort their little hands use to make that art makes it so special.

Time with my babies

Isn't it funny as moms we desperately long for that alone time. Those few minutes where we can actual sit and think. The minute we get it, we always long to be with our babies. Sure, I could ask for an entire day to myself my husband would certainly oblige, but that would be boring. I want to enjoy this day of love with the ones I love the most. The ones that showed me what it means to love someone else more than you love yourself. The ones that know how to make my heart skip a beat and fill it with joy.

A pause button

I know this is a long shot but if you could find out how to make this gift happen I would forever be grateful. You see I need time to stand still for a little while; these moments with my little ones are going by way faster than this mommy would like. I would like them to stay little for a little while longer.

It’s not that I don’t miss the days when my husband would surprise me with nice things, it’s just that now my priorities have changed. What matters isn't the words in a card or the jewelry and purses… it’s the endless hugs, kisses, and sweet memories made with my family that make Valentine’s Day the best.

Will You Be My Friend?

We've all be there, that moment after becoming a mom, and suddenly all your friends without children slowly disappear. You find yourself longing for other mom friends that can relate to the day-to-day hectic life style. Suddenly, you feel like you are in high school all over again: where nightmares are made of making new friends and getting in a new social circle. I recall meeting my best friend in high school. It did not happen by chance, we often joke that I harassed her, called her non-stop, and invited myself over to her house. Well, I had my mom drop me off at her house when she didn't answer. I don’t recommend that last tactic for meeting new mom friends.

Back then I was nervous about making new friends, but I didn't allow it to stop me. Now as an adult and mom, I feel every bit as awkward. I never know what to say to a new mom in a play group or at the park, my mind goes blank. If it isn't going blank, it’s filled with silly thoughts from, “what if she judges me for not making my baby food?” or, “what if she finds out I use regular diapers and not cloth??” or even worse, “what if she finds out I formula feed??” If there comes a point where I can push those insecurities to the side and talk to her, I find an entirely new set of fears such as “do I ask her for her number or is that weird?” or, “do we exchange emails instead?” Say you make it past that point, you exchanged numbers because you want to set up a play date. Now…when do you call her? You don’t want to make it seem as though you are free all the time. You don’t want her to think you are desperately in need of adult conversation and praying she will be your friend, even though that is secretly the case.

Ladies, it’s time we let go of our insecurities and realize we are all in the same boat, in search of the perfect mom friend that we just click with. I assure you she is out there right now feeling just as you and I feel. I have created a list of ways to help you meet and keep new mom friends.

Get out of the House.

I know, getting out of the house with two toddlers and newborn might not seem as appealing as getting out of the house did before children. Even if it’s just going for a walk around the neighborhood. A new mom friend could be right around the corner or only a few houses down.

Compliment her on her baby-wearing.

Something along the lines of “I love your Ergo” or “I love that pattern of your wrap.” My friends, those are the compliments that take you from strangers to best friends in a matter of minutes.

Compliment her children.

The fastest way to become my friend is to tell me how well behaved my children are when they are bouncing off the walls at a play group. This will tell me several things about you early on. 1.) You can overlook the fact that my children are wild. 2.) You possibly have children that are in fact as wild as mine so you are used to it. 3.) You are a very good liar. I don’t condone lying… except in this case. In fact, I actually condone it in other cases too… like when you tell me I do not smell like throw up after I was just puked on.

Invest time in the new friendship.

It’s not always easy to nurture a new friendship, especially with children. I often times find it easier to just let a new friendship sizzle than put time into it. As moms we need other mom friends, they are an important part of our sanity.

Be up front.

Be honest from the beginning with your new mom friend. If you are bad about scheduling a play date, afraid of going out with all children by yourself, or even bad about canceling plans, tell her. Other mom friends can understand your busy schedule and last minute cancellations due to a sick baby. We are all in this together!

Now that you have a few tips on how to break the ice with a new friend, and how to keep the friendship going, get out there and scope out your neighborhood for moving trucks. Don’t forget to keep your phone handy so you can enter her number before she gets away.