The day has finally arrived after nine long months, you are on your way to labor and delivery to have your baby. You have taken the classes, toured the labor and delivery floor; you are fully prepared for anything that comes your way. The nurse greets you. They escort you to the room where you will meet your baby, and everything is neatly unpacked from your stocked hospital bag. You’re all settled in… suddenly, you hear a scream straight from a horror movie. For a second, you question if it was a newborn or the laboring woman in the room next to you. During my three stays on the labor and delivery floor, I encountered several pregnant women.
Here are the five types of women you will potentially encounter during your stay.
The Screaming Mom
At some point in your labor and delivery you will get stuck next this woman: the screamer. You are focused and breathing through contractions. Clearly, she missed that birthing class. You pretty much can time her contractions because she screams for every single one. You can even begin to tell when they are getting worse, when they are slowing down, and when she starts pushing all based on her screams. Don’t be this lady.
The First Time Mom
Here she comes with a big smile on her face; hubby is wheeling her onto the unit. He’s grinning from ear-to-ear also. He has his camera around his neck. She has monogrammed luggage full of pre-maternity clothes that won’t fit her big toe when she leaves. Her makeup is on point, hair looks amazing, and her outfit is matching. You know she’s been doing her hair and makeup and showering before bed every single night the last month… just in case. Bless her heart, her contractions have just begun, and she doesn't know what is ahead of her. She doesn't realize that this could last for hours, she is going to sweat off that makeup, and she probably won’t be showering for the next few days. Her monogrammed luggage will end up decorated with baby spit up before she leaves.
The Tell It All Mom
We all know one, have one in our lives… or are one of these moms. She’s the one that spares no detail; nothing is too personal to share on social media for this mom’s labor and delivery. Facebook updates, Instagram pictures, and tweets: she has it all covered. Tweet: “Contractions are getting stronger #ouchthisreallyhurts.” Instagram pictures include: contractions on the screen, her feet at the end of the hospital bed with her belly, her belly with the straps that are connected to the monitor, the incubator where her baby will stay, her nurse, family and her obgyn. Facebook Updates: “Hey everyone, just wanted to update you. Since my last post five minutes ago, doctor says I am now 90 percent effaced and 5cm dilated. Not much longer now, and we will meet our little baby. I will make sure and keep you posted.” Five minutes later… “Just lost mucus plug.” “The baby is crowning right now!!”
The Birthing Class Mom
She attended every class offered, maybe even twice. She doesn’t want medication- not even a Tylenol. She is going to do this strictly with breathing and leaving her husband’s poor hand with little to no feeling. She brought her birthing ball and all essential oils that she could get her hands on while walking out the door. Relaxation and meditation are her specialty, and she has her “cooing” perfected at the perfect tone from deep in her throat. She will utilize every square inch of her room and every piece of her equipment. You may even spot her walking the halls and embracing her contractions.
The False Alarm Mom
She’s been here so much throughout the end of her pregnancy that she has practically taken up residency. They know her by name and expect her arrival daily. In fact, you’ve seen her three times since you’ve been there. She felt a sharp pain; it’s the start of labor. Gas pain. She’s not sure, but she thinks the fluid dripping down her leg means her water broke. She peed herself. The contractions hurt BAD; this is it. Braxton Hicks. She feels like the baby is going to fall out. He’s dropped. With each visit she calls family and friends, “This is the real thing, we are hospital bound.” When actual signs and symptoms of labor and delivery do begin, this mom calls her obgyn for a visit instead of going into the hospital.
Maybe you have been one or all of these moms at some point. I have been two out of five; I’ll refrain from telling you which ones.
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